Last week I received a text message which said: "Can you spare a couple of days for me to come to Askam for one of your lasagnes?".
Yes, they come far and wide for my lasagne. I do make a good one, with fresh mince, onions, chopped mushrooms and red peppers and sizzling grated cheese on top. Errrrm, I do use the Dolmio ready-made lasagne sauce and white sauce, but who cares? No-one has ever refused a second helping of my lasagne.
This time my visitor was former student, friend, colleague and fellow biologist Carolyn, who sped up the M6 from Leicester in her flashy little sports car to spend the weekend. The lasagne was in the oven as she arrived, and I could see her nostrils dilating as she entered the door.
Carolyn! White wine with lasagne - whatever next! I refer to Carolyn affectionately as my Décor Advisor. I have no sense of décor whatsoever and am only too ready to accept advice. Since moving into Maalie Court in October 2001, Carolyn has advised me on numerous occcasions. "What colour carpet do I need in my bedroom?"; "Where should I put this picture?"; "Would this bookcase be better over there?" are just some of the things she has advised me on.
Carolyn is also very tidy. On this visit she attacked the drawers and linen cupboard in my bedroom, long overdue. We filled two black dustbin liners with pants with perished elastic, socks riddled with holes and towells so threadbare you could see through them. I never realised how much extra space could be generated by folding the pants and boxers. And a whole shelf was generated in the linen cupboard, ample to keep my camping bedding.
Sometimes, however, Carolyn can be a little too consciencious. Anything that is visible tends to be put away, and I have to be quite firm. "No, Carolyn, there simply isn't room to squash the ironing board in the cupboard with my fishing rods, it lives in the bathroom!". After she leaves, I spend a wistful day or two discovering where exactly she "tidied up" my antique corkscrew; my chopping board; my steam iron....
Carolyn, if you're reading this, please text me and tell me where you put my albatross skull!