The blood pump icon
At this time of year the shops seem full of greetings cards plastered with stylised blood pump icons. I have even seen chocolate cast in the shape of the blood pump icon, and wrapped in tin foil (invariably red).Now we know that in higher mammals the heart has no other function whatsoever than to pump blood. Of course it can respond to stimuli received from other sensory receptors, for example, eyes and ears, but it cannot generate them.
Mataphors concerning the heart are manifold: So when we say: "Learned by heart"; "with all my heart"; I know in my heart that..."; "my heartfelt thanks"; "from the bottom of my heart"; "you broke my heart"; and many others, we are using metaphors.
Now, metaphor is a useful device in the English language (and maybe others). It adds colour and variation in the way we express ourselves. I used one in the post below when I said that I "learned something by heart". Of course I really learned it in my brain. But metaphor may be ambiguous, and be interpreted in different ways by different people at different times. For example, try telling a breakfast waiter in Paris: "This morning I feel like an egg".
Here is a sample conversation between two partners. It goes like this:
Partner A: "Darling, when I look at you, my heart beats faster!".
Partner B: "Darling, the same happens to me; the images of each other that we receive on our retinas are translated by our brains as anticipation of sexual activity. The brain sends a biochemical or physiological signal to the heart to increase the blood flow accordingly".
A: But darling, I love you with all my heart, will you marry me?
B: "Darling, you know perfectly well that I have a PhD in anatomy and physiology; I am not prepared to sign a contract of marriage with you based on a metaphor. Now please tell me exactly what you mean, and I'll consider your proposition".
A: Errrrrm....
Your role is to complete the sentence of Partner A without using metaphor (in the comments box). If you are tempted to use the word "heart", try replacing it with "blood pump" to see if you are still conveying your intended meaning.
You never know, I may accept the best proposal...
(Thanks to Halfmom,aka,Susan for the idea.)
posted by Maalie at 10:20 pm
83 Comments:
Do you have a saying there that someone is a "skunk"?, perhaps, "you are a stinker"?
In the southern part of the US,where I was raised, either phrase would mean that you have been very mischievous indeed. And so you have with your post!!
It is very funny; so now I will have to be serious with mine!
Will you marry me if I tell you all the senses of my body and mind tremble with anticipation when you are around.
How's that? If I win, you needn't marry me.
Lorenzo.
Halfmom: I think the word is 'runcible'.
Lorenzo: In anticipation of what? I'm not interested in contracting marriage on the basis of anticipation of a one-night-stand.
Next...
Blood pump! Love it and love that conversation!!
Tee hee
I am not sure I really feel up to the verbal jousting.... but I feel inspired to notice any blood pump signs I can take photos of while out walking ;-)
Incest? I'm telling Mark Pierson on you two! He'd probably explode with righteous indignation in a Mr Creosote sort of way.
Maalie, I find your posts excite such a frenzy of electrical activity along my neural synapses, that I fear the onset of catatonia without them. To ensure I'm able to maintain homeostasis in the manner to which I've lately become accustomed, I think you should marry me forthwith.
Is it leap year Maalie? That's a good year of finding a bride.
Maalie,
I've read your comments with interest on other blogs, and have enjoyed your own blog and much appreciate your work and knowledge as a scientist and professor.
Your thought here reminds me of the idea of right brain, left brain- as well as art and science. Humans are rational creatures, but more than that, as you well know. How can anyone know why I "love" someone, and don't "feel" the same way about someone else. Though of course, we have to define "love" and know there are different kinds of love.
So I think these two partners, best case scenario, can learn to balance each other out. That maybe there is more than what meets the eye, as in science- observation, verification, etc. And that maybe there will be things about us that can never be fully explained or understood.
Just my little ripple over here. I could well have fully missed the point here, which wouldn't surprise me, but thanks for the fun and mind-stretching.
I have to say I enjoy, and look forward to more of the same exchange between yourself and Susan.
I cannot possibly see a happy end here. Partner B will be fast asleep by the time Partner A has finished his/her lecture.
Now, where's my oxygen tank?
Magdalene, you have caught my attention. But there appears to me no consideration for my homoeostasis. On the other hand, I do appreciate that "love" is a selfish phenomenon, as per Richard Dawkins' Selfish Gene. "Falling into" such a state is merely a mental manifestation of the instinct to procreate. If I don't get a better offer I may come back to you.
Ellee, yes, a Leap Year (and an Olympic year). You can rest assured that I shall maintain a very low profile on Feb 29th.
Ted, thanks for looking in.
>How can anyone know why I "love" someone, and don't "feel" the same way about someone else.
Yes, the understanding of these physiological processes is still in its infancy. After all, we are all only bags of biochemicals. We understand now how they are individually biosynthesised but how they are regulated, interact and are coordinated is a developing science. I guess it won't be long before we know.
Merisi, remember that a life-long contract is at stake here. It would be worth paying attention.
Yes, I remember, and that's what makes it so scary. ;-)
Regarding your own homeostasis, Maalie; How about if I throw in a homemade steak and kidney pie as well?
Magdalene: Just the one? You don't happen to make home-made wine too?
i am old and married...however, i will give it a shot just for fun.
my blood pump
has a twich
in its thump
that can cause
me to jump
into feelings to quick
with your words
that are slick
so i will go out the door
to see you no more
ane it will shut tight
with a bump
Nancy, thank you, that is imaginative; you're on the short list. And if that's you in your picture, you don't look too old at all.
"...what I mean to say is that my heart beats quicker due to the rush of adrenalin stimulated by the anxiety I feel when I thinking about all the tax breaks we are missing out on as an unmarried couple... and what would happen to our inheritance if one of us should die when you know full well we don't have a will? PLEASE marry me so that I can continue watching Match of the Day without these unnecessary distraction?"
TCA: I like your pragmatism. You're on the shortlist.
No, wine I'm afraid, but last year's sloe gin was excellent.
Got any left?
How's this one:
'Ok, I've changed my mind. I don't need a piece of paper to be with you, all we need to do is agree that we would like to spend a significant amount of our lives with each other without needing approval from the church or the state, even tho' that's what they want us to do and so offer incentives so that we take the bait, (like those tax breaks), to try and make us form a 'stable' family unit.
I don't care what the church or the state thinks, you stimulate my mind and my body and I can't imagine ever feeling like this with someone else.'
I'd be surprised if Mags has any of that sloe gin left. It was too tasty to hang around for long.
Nice one Raelha, I like it, but does that include plans for the security of our children?
Maalie, of course it does, if you can persuade me to have children, no-one's done it yet. A marriage does not necessarily make for a secure environment for children. A healthy relationship where there is respect for each other does; a certificate and a ceremony is not necessary to produce such a partnership.
I'm afraid it got guzzled up at Christmas, I do however have extra sloes in my freezer...
What would your answer be Maalie?
Ellee, I was rather hoping that it might have been your answer that would have been the offer I couldn't refuse...
BTW I agree with Raelhas comment 100%
A; Being extremely post-neo-natal, and tending toward mature but not octogenarian status by chronology, I am inclined to request your prehensile multi-fingered body part in matrimony.
Should you acquience, I agree to display insurmountable evidence of my finite but not insignificant deep affection via specific and implied genital, areolial and mammorial stimulation both for, and to, myself and yourself whilst, and only whilst, in exclusive mutual company.
Furthermore, there will be no disclosed or undisclosed actual or theoretical occurences of recognisibly similar stimulation or activity with other members of the species homo sapien, whether erectus, flacidious, horizontalis or genus bibendum officepartii.
The vows by which we agree this physical and emotional conjoinment, I maintain, should be performed within the immediate viscinity of visual witnesses, (many dressed in puff-sleeved overgarments) and under the auspices of a representative of a definable but as yet cross-culturally uncorroborated Supreme Being and Creator.
Should you concur with my assumption that these plans should be adhered to unmitigatedly, then perhaps we should place our mouthparts in an adjacent position immediately, and enjoy increased the cardio-vascular activity until my erectile tissue becomes suitably engorged to test the tensile fortitude of my trouser fastenings.
Wel, whadyasay? Do I get to surround your 4th proximal phalange with a suitably priced 37% gold/copper amalgum circlet?
vword; jambmn
Thesaurus Rex: that sounds promising. I am consulting my solicitors to see to what extent that might make the basis of a nuptial contract.
TCA: Thank you, you make yourself abundantly clear. I have suffered the trauma of a succession of broken relationships from which partners who have weaselled themselves out of commitment that was based on nothing more than metaphor, analogy, tautology and rhetoric. I'm sick of being let down in this way. I wish you well in your quest for someone who will swallow your empty words.
Where Ellee and Maalie goes, the Queen follows: http://new.edp24.co.uk/content/news/story.aspx?brand=EDPOnline&category=News&tBrand=edponline&tCategory=news&itemid=NOED28%20Jan%202008%2022%3A36%3A11%3A473
Maalie, just to calm you down right away, I'm not even gonna try to win your pump with some flowery verse or pulchritudinous prose.
I'm just here to suggest to the others that maybe the old bugger is getting a bit confortable on his laurels, what with being able to answer every question with canned responses.
Say we took away his use of all forms of the words "runcible," "axiomatic," and "blood pump" and force him to actually cogitate a bit before answering. I'm not really proposing this serious, it's just a thought that occurred to me. In fact I fear if we robbed him of his pet words he would get absolutely avian on us out of revenge and we'd be stuck discussing black caps, Eurasion spoonbills, grey plovers, and possibly even the bearded tit. And that my friends might just make me cross that line in the sand.
No I'm afraid he has us between a rock and a woman's thigh on this one, runcible old codger.
Mags, I love you but you sound more clinical than romantic I'm afraid. Perhaps its all that time spend around medical people.
Rex, I'm prepared to marry you if Maalie hesitates, on the basis of your lavishly languid yet pulsatingly pleasurable use and deliberate misuse of your DICTION.
Good lord it's cold in this house. I think my other pump, the important one, is in danger of shrinking in size to the UK average. Must turn up the heater. Oh yeah, it's busted. F*CK.
Rachel, give me five days. I'll convince you to have children and live out an idyllic life with me, roll of parchment or no.
Just so you know it, I found my first primroses of spring early this morning in the Vienna Woods. ;-)
Thesaurus Rex: I have consulted my solicitors and they agree there is a basis for negotiation. Conditions will apply. The symbolic matrimonial band shall be thick and comprise 100% auric element. Moreover until such time as the matrimonial ritual is formalised by her Majesty's Registrar of Birth's, Marriages and Deaths, you will supply, on a non-returnable basis, as a token of intent, an additional band of platinum in which is set diamond(s) of my choosing. I shall leave this to you in my Will until such time as any runcibilitude on your part obliges me to rewrite it. My solicitors will forward to you their account for this consultation.
Metamatician: The eponymous laurels upon which I am alleged to rest (metaphor) are seminally becoming more akin to boughs of holly and wreaths of thorns (simile). The language of science perforce has a vocabulary restricted to the tried, tested and trusted epithets. I once submitted a manuscript for publication in Seabird Ectoparasitology which concluded with the words: "I honestly believe in my heart that the Wilson's Storm Petrel is the exclusive host of the feather louse Philoceanus robersti". The ms was returned without comment, as have been all subsequent submissions to this erudite publication.
If you persist with your runcibilitude I shall paste in your own comments box the whole of my UK life list, which includes Houbara Bustard and Black-winged Pratincole.
Ellee: Yes Her Majesty is well-known for her propensity to follw a good example.
Oh, and Thesaurus Rex, you may expect the pleasures of marriage, but you may NOT anticipate them.
Meta, just five days you reckon? I´d like to see what this involves and without even hearing why I don´t want them. Can´t a life be idylic without offspring?
Maalie, Meta, axiomatic is not limited to the sciences. I used to think there was some secret brother/sisterhood of Spanish historians which had as its main oath the use of said word at least once in all publications.
Raelha, yes, it is, axiomatically, a most useful word.
I propose a new axiom quite apart from Euclid's flat plane and even Riemann's brilliant series; distinct from both relativity at the very large scale and quantum effects at the small; one which solves the problem of drawing something so ineffable as mind out of matter... Except what this axiom is, I can't tell you on a blog. You'll have to wait for my work to be published to become enlightened, and financially lightened to boot.
Raelha, I would only set about to convince you if I saw in your eyes that you wanted children but that some uncertainty was holding you back. I don't believe a fulfilling life needs said brats to aid the exploitation of the earth's resources, though for me I'm not as dead-set against one or two as I once was, it were with the right person. Haven't found that person yet and I've a lovely stepdaughter in the meantime which satisfies most of my genetic needs to father a child. I just don't see her anymore after 13 years of living daily with her as her full-time and sole father. It's been very hard.
So no, I would never try to mesmerise you or something that crude. If you don't want children and have a logical reason for your desires, who is anyone to convince you differently? It just seems... I dunno. People don't usually even talk about things unless there's some grain there somewhere...
=)
Maalie: dig up Hitchcock and throw the whole runcibly boring as hell encyclopaedia of winged species at me, I will simply unleash my loyal batallion of semi-feral apartment cats upon them and that will be that. I dislike birds more than anything besides insects, and about the same as amphibians, so there's no use in threatening me with your downsized dinos when MAMMALS have come to rule the planet and made their pathetic reign upon the planet a mere footnote.
I'm really glad I came across your blog. I just love it.
Thanks for brigging up this metaphor subject. I just used one yesterday on my blog (for my tittle). I really love metaphors. Their visual aspect reinforce the idea and makes it more alive. They have a real power. They emphasize ideas expressed in a nice way.
"il faut voir le dessous des cartes" :-)
hi jim.
i will write here...since i am not sure you will ever find your way back to my blog.
we have the book "salt, a world history" on our small book shelf as well. someone must have given it to us to read. probably a foodie freind of peter's. i have not read this one either. though it looks good. "salt - the only rock we eat-" as much as i like salt...i should read this. it may be next on my list.
i will let you know.
have a good tewsdeh!
Metamatician We "runcible old codgers" resting on our metaphorical laurels have, axiomatically, something that the younger folk do not have. It's called experience. If you must know, I went back to night school in 1988 to improve my French when my favourite ballerina left Paris to come to London. I vowed I would only ever speak to her in her own language, a vow I have kept (well, more or less). I was even invited into her dressing room after a performance in Paris in 2005 (yes, she was dressed).
Nancy: Nice to see you back here. Oh yes, I'd find my way back ok, I have it bookmarked, never fear.
And besides, wot's that got to do with experience? I started learning languages for the ladies (foreign exchange students mostly) when I was a just a nipper, first improving my German completely autodidactically, then me French. Spanish I already knew a bit growing up. The only problem I have now is not getting them all mixed up in the Broca area of the ol brain organ. It's not a problem when of sane mind, but a bit harder than it sounds when you've had a too much to drink. I tried talking my way out of situation in Mexico with some police and realized only a few sentences in that I was speaking German to them, to all of our surprises. =)
Lorenzo, I love your French.
Meta, I find foreign languages flow much better after imbibing the odd drink two - I stop worrying about making mistakes. ¿Qué pasó al final con los mejicanos?
Maalie, have you made a decision on whose offer you´re going to take up?
an exaltation of larks,
a murmuration of starlings...
it is you
and you alone
who owns the pink flamingo
that is my heart...
:-)
[[ ...gentle sigh,
then...
one sweet air-kiss follows... ]]
I have tidied this up by removing some of the off-topic banter including my own. Please don't take offence, everybody who has commented is still represented here. many thanks, Maalie
Raelha, I'm still awaiting Thesaurus Rex's reply to my solicitor's comments.
You grumpy old man Maalie removing all our burbling from your blogsite! How many times have you wondered 'of topic' on other people's blogs, especially halmom's and bluecollars?!
Lorenzo.
>How many times have you wondered 'of topic'
I have often wondered that myself, Lorenzo.
Today I looked at the number of comments and thought: "Weren't there 67 comments yesterday at this time?"(I tend to memorize this type of information). But it said 52 and imagined that I had in mind the wrong number. Perhaps I was right after all.
It's because he's still putting the boot in over at Bluecollar. I bet there was a Fundy death threat hidden in between those lost comments.
May, you are quite right, I cleared out some of the junk.
Magdalene: indeed. I discover now that I am supposed to season my prayers with soul food. Could you make me a pie out of it for me please?
Maalie, you've made an elemental mistake - pun intended - in your response to T-Rex, insisting on a pure gold ring. Even the most amateur jeweler or fancier of metals knows that that dictum would make for a rubbish wedding band. Too soft and, have to say it, Maalie-able. It would never hold its shape nor lustre satisfactorily, and would be damn heavy too, unless you went with a slighter, more feminine design.
You're all mad. Mad I say! Mad!
Metamatician: Who said anything about wearing it? It will stay safely in my safe. I can put any old thing on my fourth phalange just for show.
Have you noticed how the price of gold has inflated? My krugerrands have tripled in value since I bought them. I goddam wish I had bought a whole load more.
Ah good point, got me there. You never said in the specifications you'd wear the actual wedding ring. And in that case, I agree that the purer/heavier/pricier the better. Maybe want to get back to Rex and suggest you rather prefer Platinum or even Irridium in that case. (The case you keep your ring in, heh.)
Am I posting the 60th comment here, that's amazing. Let's try for a century.
Oh sod it, this is too hard - can't I just be your mistress on the side, instead? x
Scream, yes please. I'll be over on the next ferry to Manxcatland, as soon as these bloomin' gales die down...
[P.S. How do I get to your blog these days?]
You want to know if there's a good connection between Saltzberg and Vienna? I'll be happy to help you, as soon as you share the location of the mysterious place with me. ;-)
In case you meant to write Salzburg, here's the train schedule.
Maalie, you have become quite popular lately.
Thank you May. I can't decide if it's due to my charm, my wit, or my raw good looks.
You will get some ideas on love and romance from my latest post Maalie.
Thank you Ellee, as you will see I have just been there. Actually I’m in love with a person who works at the local candle factory. I have bought more candles in the last year than I could use in a lifetime. She must be starting to wonder why I always look for her to ask a stupid question about candles. I just get so tongue-tied.
I hope you're not going so far as to ask her to bend over and get you some of the candles on the lowest shelf... Actually, that's not a bad idea.
Maybe you just a Cyrano de Bergerac to write her some poetry for you, or try your own hand at it, with your broad command of iambic pentameter and such romantic words as runcible and axiomatic to convey your true emotions, I'm sure you'll do a bang up job.
need* a Cyrano, that is.
A verse for the girl who works in the candle factory, in Iambic Pentameter, complete with rhyming couplet:
Your scented candles will I light each day
And think of drowning in your dark brown eyes;
And from afar I can but look at thee;
I know that you can never marry me.
"I have bought more candles in the last year than I could use in a lifetime."
You'll never use up that candle supply if you keep flitting off overseas like you have done in 2007. You should have had a bonfire on top of that mountain to celebrate the winter solstice... then you could continue to woo the candle lass without filling your house up with the things.
Yes SWS- I cannot look at your blog. its invitation only now- let me know ( if you want).
happy to delete the link off my blog
Yes, VERY raw good looks.
Maalie: I think it's due to the three of them and also to your kindness, your intelligence etc etc...
Okey dokey ducky: Apologia for said matrimonial pie over at my place, though now, reading the possible new criteria I may have to create the very first 'Fortune Pie' with suitable scriptural admonishments languishing between the chunks of meat in warm gravy.
However, my better self thinks that I should withdraw my proposal in order to allow you to follow your true desire, which is surely to marry the candle woman. For God's sake ask her out, man. Only make sure there are no whiffs of dead badger about your person when you do.
Our supermarket shelves are bare due to the storms, do you think you can pick me up a stonebaked loaf on the way?
I've taken my blog down. Nutty Nora found it and the proverbial hit the fan! I'll come back like the Pheonix, just in a different guise - anyway, I kind of like the thought of the freedom of being anonymous (grin). Watch this space..
Yeah, you runcible old git, do what Mags said before you lose her to someone like an older Rex. Forget marrying any of us lot, the fact that we frequent your blog ought to give you a clue we're all mental anyway.
You know if you hadn't deleted all the junk you would have a hundred comments by now.
L.
of course you will be deleting all these comments that are "off topic" mate...
ahahahahahahahah!!!!
Methinks I'll post an entry on my own blog whose topic IS off-topic discussions. No, wait a minute, that's one of those Strange Loops we want to avoid so the universe doesn't explode. Ok, I'll make the topic "trying to reach 100 posts" and toward that end, anything and everything people want to say will be on-topic, see?
Damn I'm smart sometimes.
Bottoms up!
I have dwunk too many sherrys tonight
I'm still here, on the scene, listening. Waiting for some more pics and scientific stuff.
Was fun going past 200, Think you were the 200th, Maalie, on Susan's blog!
Hey, I added you to my blog links.
Thanks for all the interesting and relevant comments everyone. I'm off to Spain tomorrow.
Yes Maalie, listen to Mags and Meta (just this once) and do something about it. You may be pleasantly surprised, and if not, well, at least you'll know.
Have fun in Spain. I'll wave in your direction.
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